It is all too easy to comment without fully understanding the problem or the situation. It's all too easy isn't it? I can't say anything more, because more would merely be angry words. I will swallow those words. If I can't get the scholarship, which will of course give me a monthly allowance to help pay off loans and help the family out financially, do you think that I will still continue with the M.A.? Do you honestly believe that I could ever put myself over my family like that?

It is becoming increasingly difficult to be nice. I can't be nice when for almost 25 years of my life, you have never been there. I can't smile and pretend nothing is wrong, when everything is. I can't believe you would tell my aunty, your sister, "Oh no need to worry. I won't have to borrow money from you anymore, because Brian is going to graduate soon." I am sorry, but while I had previously struggled with the idea of actually giving you an allowance, and even contemplated doing so, simply because you are the one blinking father I have. I have come to the realisation that I cannot and must not do that. The leaching has to stop and even if one day, you wake up and suddenly find that all you have are gone - no house, because you sold it away to clear your debts, no family - because you never loved them nor appreciated them. You only have yourself to blame. I am sad that while all of us have tried so hard to make it work. You never bothered. Here we are quietly clearing your debts, picking up the broken pieces you left behind. You just took it for granted didn't you? Yes such fools we are.