There might be no words to describe this, but it is strange that it comes as suddenly and as unannounced. The heart is heavy - filled with a deep sense of sorrow. The heart is overwhelmed by a wave of loneliness that threatens to drown and I am frailing about, threshing my arms, struggling not to be pulled in by the strong currents of doubt, fighting to keep my head afloat.

This heaviness is suffocating. I cannot breathe. Like talons and claws ravaging my soul, I am torn and broken down, made weary with an insatiable hunger, an aching within the heart. It is as if the sorrows and problems of the world had suddenly crashed upon me and I can no longer bear the weight of it all.

The barrenness, and I can only call it so, because of how destitute and desparate it makes people become- it attacks and burdens the senses, it tricks and it contrives with sweet nothings that smother into ash. If the earth was created out of nothing, then this darkness threatens to engulf whatever that was created.

Jesus, Jesus I call out to you. Take this weariness, this sadness, this heaviness away. You have annointed me with the oil of gladness and I stand sanctified in Your image and under Your protecting hand. You are my consoler, my help, my rock and my refuge. You are all that I have. Oh Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.