What Magic says is true. Sometimes, all it takes is a small recurring barely noticeable thing to keep nagging at you before it builds up and you explode/implode or put simply, the last straw before the back of the camel breaks. I used to be more tolerant/patient than what I am now. It used to take alot to push me, but now, it seems every little thing is pushing at all the wrong buttons. Jem, like you, I will probably turn into a cranky old man, by the looks of thing. Cortisol, Caffeine, Sugar and fast food don't really mix very well together. The crash hits you harder than ever.

Take the recent CSS KTV session, something, person X did, though well-intentioned, irritated the hell out of me. It's the little things, the little nuences. The vibes some people give off are not comfortable vibes and I am pretty atuned to vibes. I can sense when I am not wanted. Yet, is it because I have already formed a preconceived notion of you and who you are that I react the way I do to you? Am I judging you? Yes, I think I am. Me thinks that it being Lent, very flaw, every shortcoming, every failure, every temptation, every sin, is made overwhelmedly overpowering, such that they entice you, irritate you, suffocate you the more. Dear Lord, where are you? Sometimes, I don't even know why I do the things I do, or feel the way I do. I just do these un-Christian things, like judging other people, letting pride and arrogance get to my head.

In many ways I am glad for mid-sem break, though it's more of a working break than anything. I am frustrated that the people I am supposed to interview for my thesis are refusing to be interviewed, are refusing to pick up their phones, or returning their calls, are sending out curt emails telling me that there are no shortcuts to research, and I should take a two year course in Philosophy and Theological Liturgy before asking them to explain terms to me, when my thesis is due on the 14th of April this year? Like hello? Aren't I doing research by trying to interview you? Can I help that my research topic hinges on your interview answers, seeing that you are the Liturgist and the authority to consult? *Roar!!!*

Nonetheless, I am glad for the chance to meet up with the CSS people and the TS1101 gang. Truly a breath of Sunshine amidst the storm. I decided I needed a real break so I went to catch PS. I love you by myself at Lido recently. Lido 2 is surprisingly big, comfy and plush. I was expecting a real sob story, so I could cry my heart out, but there were only two scenes in the movie that actually moved me, causing me to tear. It didn't help that the bloody beng sitting beside me was playing with his handphone and ringtones.

Anyhow, do keep the soul of Ashley's grandfather, who recently passed on in your prayers.

The call back was an utter waste of time and it wasn't even the real thing. *rolls eyes*

As you know, I was mulling over cyberspace, blog reading, food blog visiting and revisiting sites I had not visited in a while to while away the time as I waited to be activated, and I chanced upon the most crazy, most unbelievable thing. Remember a time four years ago when I foreyed into the world of being an advertisement extra? Well, I thought that since I had ballooned up, they had dropped me as a talent a long time ago, but surprise, surprise... I discovered that I was still part of that company. The only difference is, I am no longer called up for jobs. Yes! I know! I find it very hard to believe still... It truly is a *jang jang* moment... well, behold, a monsterous sight... my callcard. It does look a little emelio-filipinoish I think. Oh well, those days are so over for me.

Time goes by so slowly... Time goes by so slowly...

This reservist mobilisation thing is getting on my nerves. It's fine when it's a matter of being called up and reporting back to camp. It's a different matter when you are placed in charge of a number of other people whom you need to call and ensure that they return on time as well, otherwise you would have to head to their houses to rat them out. I have also realised to my horror that I am lacking a couple of things, like big rubber bands and safety pins, which hopefully I won't be checked on.

It's going to be an excrutiatingly busy semester - HT work, essays, presentations, projects, examinations, CG, Youth CAfe, Graduate CG, work on Saturdays, EMM practice on Sunday, followed by Crash Course Cathechesis, modular films to watch, FOC preparation and FOC, WYD preparation, reservist and YISS. I've missed so many YISSs and I feel that it is good preparation for the WYD that follows after. Thank God, this year's YISS is from the 19th to 22nd June, right after FOC, which comes after reservist. So no clashes this time round. Can I say then that my commitment lies in all these things? That there is no single organisation, but rather many organisations and ministries in which my commitment lie? This means that time has to be divided and allocated accordingly, which means that opportunity costs come into play. I can't split myself into multiple selves. That's just not possible. So as much as I would like to attend Friday Mass in school, sing for stations in Church and run Youth CAfe on Friday, I can't do all the above at the same time.

It's either hypertension, high blood pressure or a blood clot. Too many migraines in too often a time isn't exactly a good thing. It portends a certain danger, a certain fatality to my life that is. My cousin had a tumour in his brain... Maybe it means that I will have to change my spectacles soon. Can't see very well out of them and I think my eyes are over compensating. Am I a hypochrondric? Maybe I am. I hope I am. Just. A hypochrondric. I might be suffering caffeine withdrawal symptoms.

Since the feathers got into my lungs the last time I was plucking them for resources, the coughing has not stopped. My lungs are scratchy and phlagmy and I can't exactly sing properly now. Add to that the double combo, of vocal strain telling hyperactive kids to calm down, Chinese New Year heaty foods like pineapple tarts, lots of pineapple tarts and cookies of course and you have got a recipe for trouble.

I just read an article in Men's Health that there is a potential that one is pre-diabetic, if one feels sluggish immediately after a meal loaded with carbohydrates. It means that the body is not controlling insulin and sugar flunctuations very well. What happens when I feel sluggish immediately after a meal? Does that mean I am pre-diabetic? This sounds completely out of wreck, but I actually bought an over the counter diabetes testing kit. Well, the results on the kit showed normalcy, but that's because I did the test first thing in the morning when the sugar levels are lowest. The kit doesn't account for sluggishness, IMMEDIATELY after a meal...

I feel completely out of sync and terribly blah. Body's falling apart. I already have irritable bowel syndrome. I don't need a whole spate of health related issues and problems.

I really hate it when people go out of their way to cheat you in order to milk a few extra cents from you. Like the taxi driver that takes a longer route or a route that requires you to pay four dollars worth of ERP charges plus peak hour charges. Or the cupcake lady selling cupcakes along the AS1 walkway, who gives you $8 back in change, when the cupcakes cost $1.50 each and you gave the lady $10.50. I am fuming mad. Dai Dum! Hrumph! Humbug!

So the ridiculously overpriced and over hyped V-day approaches, and while I believe that it is a festival created by greeting cards to up their profit margins, it does provide an excuse to shower a little love on your special one, though I really don't see why couples can't do it everyday, and it really should be that way isn't it? Somehow, in some strange way, V-day seems to affect everyone. I guess collective togetherness and couples walking hand in hand down the street don't really translate well for members of the lonely hearts club like myself. Thankfully, V-day is also know as Friendship Day, probably created by some member of a lonely hearts club somewhere out in the world, who got sick of all the lovey dovey, exclusive business, and that makes it the perfect excuse to shower a little care and concern on your friends as well. To put it bluntly, people being people tend to either forget or to take things for granted and an official day that is set aside, allows people to make up for all the other 364 days of forgetfulness.

You know, this is completely tangential, but I realise that there are so many things that I want to do, such as take up keyboard lessons, driving lessons, muay thai, bodycombat and I CAN'T DO ANY OF IT!

How To fold a teeshirt in 2 seconds

For a link of how to fold your tee-shirt in 2 seconds:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An0mFZ3enhM&feature=related

I've mastered it :)

bakerbrian.blogspot.com

Hey all, upon Druce's suggestion, I'll be making the bakesale thingy a regular feature to allow me to earn some money on the side - too many financial worries not to start a venture like this. In the best of my capacity as a full-time undergraduate, who is still worrying about his academic life, four saturdays a month isn't really helping ease finances... I have set up a blogspot account for food encounters and to advertise any possible food stuff I might be selling. I haven't posted anything up yet, but I foresee a possible Easter cupcake thingy coming up :) and of course, orders for birthdays and other celebrations and the like are more than welcomed.

http://bakerbrian.blogspot.com/

Stay tuned for updates, and hopefully pictures. It is a small start, but hopefully by word of mouth, I will be able to get somewhere and get some revenue...

Anyone can help me out with food photography?

My laptop is slowly but surely dying a spluttering death. When I first purchased it, it took a mere thirty seconds to start, but now it takes forever, and even my trusting cd-rom drive, which I depend on to watch dvds, and to rip dvds that I am required to watch as part of my syllabus, because poor me can't afford to purchase them, has become stupid and illiterate. It can't read the discs anymore.

So I wanted to upload my photographs and videos on facebook, but even though I've downloaded the video application and photo application ten times over, facebook still refuses to recognise the fact that I already have the applications, so I can't upload anything. I wonder if that's how spyware proliferate - you think you are downloading the application, but in actuality, you are downloading spyware, of which it is my guess that my laptop is already under siege and swarming with lots of them, a huge part coming from buggy angelfire no doubt.

I am mad at myself. The last time I ran was way before Chinese New Year, yep, the 7km run around school, and then I stopped. I started off the year with a million and one good intentions - "I'll run everyday," "I'll take up muay thai or some other martial art," "I'll learn how to play the keyboard," "I'll take up driving.." but none of them have bore any fruit. Talk about the road to hell being laid with many a good intention. Yes, yes, it's the second day of the lunar new year and I shouldn't be grouchy and whiny, but I am. *pouts*

At least the family visitations have gone well so far. When I told them that I was graduating this semester, they were esctatic, literally cheering and jumping for joy. I am really facing a conundrum regarding the issue of whether I should stay on in academia. I guess I will take one hurdle at a time. Thesis work and essays, and presentations and exams first...

The Chinese New Year break is a welcomed break indeed. After days of rushing out CNY orders, after days of non-sleep, after CAW, which went really well, and a million things to do. Well, I still have a million and one things to do, but at least I can catch a breather somewhat.

As part of my research for my thesis, I attended for the very first time, the Peranakan Mass on Chinese New Year's Eve. Well, knowing the pathetic sense of direction I have, I got lost and was nearly late for the Mass, but thanks to Candice, I managed to find my way about, in the nick of time. Well, let's just say there are two groups of people - the insider and the outsider. As the Mass was completely done in the Peranakan patois, I was immediately othered as I didn't understand a thing that was being said, but the universality of the mass was such that I roughly knew what segment of the Mass we were at. What intrigued me most about that Mass, was the Peranakan altar they had at the front of the Church's altar. Two red flaming candles, three cups of tea/wine in front, "fa" cake, pomelo and bananas. Things most commonly associated with ancester worship. It was most disjunctive and strange. I need to talk with Fr. Iggy about this soon.

On a tangential point, I am worried about my thesis. I don't have anything to say and I can't formulate a thesis question. Hmmm..