thanks Sharon! for the Pic!!

So I've technically graduated, but with graduation comes a whole spew of responsibilities. Ever heard the story of exponential growth? There was a king who agreed to playing a chess match with another king from a rival kingdom. For every match that was lost, the losing king would, according to the number of squares found on the chessboard put two grains of rice and the number of grains of rice would double for each match and each square. In the end the king lost and bankrupted his kingdom, for the grains of rice grew exponentially- starting off small in the beginning but escalating to large amounts in the end. Well, what has exponential growth got to do with graduation? Let's just say that with graduation comes the credit letters from the banks demanding payment for the tuition fee loan.

Assuming that I owe the bank $9264.00, an interest rate of 1% will commence (no wonder they call graduation commencement) beginning on the 1st of August 2008, for every month, until the loan is paid off. Let's just say that I can only start repaying the loan in January next year, as finances would technically be more stable then. In the second month, I would owe the bank (including interest) need to pay off $9450.20, in the third, $9544.70, the fourth, $9640.15, the fifth, $9736.55, the sixth, $9833.95 and finally in the seventh month, when I actually do start paying off the loan, I would be paying off a loan of $9932.30!!! *falls off chair* See how quickly the amount has ballooned up? If I choose a monthly option of say $500 per month, I would technically be paying off interest, and only interest in the first half of the year. This is not to say that interest doesn't cease, in that sense interest is always a permenent liability. *sigh* it looks like I will be eating grass and only grass for the next couple of years.

I did a playclub session today, and stood in for a colleague who had taken leave to get married, and while I was extremely nervous about it, having done only one session during my trial. I am glad the high impact and the high energy sessions with G. went extremely well. While I was literally running on caffeine, having gotten used to waking up late, and with the exception of a few newbies who were crying, and given the fact that I did not know all the songs, I must say the sessions went pretty nicely. It opens up whole new possibilities of actually doing playclub classes, although I have to say that my bias lies inherently with the older children.

I will need however all the prayers I can get for a particular intercession, regarding a particular job opportunity. I can't reveal anything yet, because nothing has been said or mentioned to the higher sups. yet, but I am really hoping I can get that, so do keep praying for me.

It is all too easy to comment without fully understanding the problem or the situation. It's all too easy isn't it? I can't say anything more, because more would merely be angry words. I will swallow those words. If I can't get the scholarship, which will of course give me a monthly allowance to help pay off loans and help the family out financially, do you think that I will still continue with the M.A.? Do you honestly believe that I could ever put myself over my family like that?

It is becoming increasingly difficult to be nice. I can't be nice when for almost 25 years of my life, you have never been there. I can't smile and pretend nothing is wrong, when everything is. I can't believe you would tell my aunty, your sister, "Oh no need to worry. I won't have to borrow money from you anymore, because Brian is going to graduate soon." I am sorry, but while I had previously struggled with the idea of actually giving you an allowance, and even contemplated doing so, simply because you are the one blinking father I have. I have come to the realisation that I cannot and must not do that. The leaching has to stop and even if one day, you wake up and suddenly find that all you have are gone - no house, because you sold it away to clear your debts, no family - because you never loved them nor appreciated them. You only have yourself to blame. I am sad that while all of us have tried so hard to make it work. You never bothered. Here we are quietly clearing your debts, picking up the broken pieces you left behind. You just took it for granted didn't you? Yes such fools we are.

The NUS administration appears to be a royal pain in the nether regions. It is also a money sucking device. For instance, having submitted two copies of my academic transcript to NUS in my application for an M.A. I am now told that I will need to submit another two copies (each copy costs about $5.50) of my completed academic transcript along with a "certified-true" copy of my degree certificate. The only problem is, I can only collect my degree and scroll at or after the commencement ceremony. Now this is a big problem, because the deadline for the re-submitting of documents is 14th July, but if you do the Math, you would realise that I am at World Youth Day from the 9th to 22nd of July. So not only can't I attend my commencement ceremony, I will need my guardian angel to help collect my degree scroll and submit a copy of it together with two more transcripts which have to be paid for, on my physical behalf to the department.

Bro. Collin gave a fantastic talk yesterday at the World Youth Day preparation regarding the notions of the Self and the Ideal Self and the placement of Self amidst community and expectations. I know I want to further my studies and continue with my M.A. yet at the same time, practical constaints are tugging at me. There is the student loan to account for, the notebook loan to pay off and to add to that, the family payments to HDB which dear ol' dad had been happily defecting. I am gettting a tad angry at him. No that is an understatement. I am angry at his selfishness and at his immaturity. Why marry when you are not ready to take on the responsibility of husbandhood and fatherhood? You sickening, selfish bastard. We sold the previous house, that had already been paid off, to pay tens of thousands of dollars of debts incurred by him truly and now the same problems occur and to add to that, the financial burden falls upon my mum, with threat of being evicted by HDB because he has not been paying his side of the deal. I can't do anything about it either, for I am not yet working. It makes me wonder if I am being selfish here in wanting to pursue my dreams - which will translate into long term investment yields of higher returns, or whether I am doing the right thing - yes rough it out for these few years with a greater reward at the end. The problem is, we can't wait out these next two years.

Channel NewsAsia - Tuesday, June 17

SINGAPORE : MINDEF is satisfied that proper procedures are in place for all physical and endurance training activities carried out by the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF), and that these are being followed.

The comments come at the end of the three—day suspension on all SAF physical training activities, following the deaths of Officer Cadet Clifton Lam Jia Hao and Recruit Andrew Cheah Wei Siong.

Cheah died after fainting during a two—kilometre walk at Pulau Tekong on Tuesday, while Lam died on Wednesday during jungle training in Brunei as a pilot trainee.

The three—day time out was unprecedented, but Defence Minister Teo Chee Hean said it has been useful in allowing the SAF to review its processes and procedures to make sure they are being followed.

The suspension also created heightened awareness among commanders and individual soldiers on issues involved in physical endurance training.

The review covered training, medical and safety procedures.

And despite calls for enlistees to be screened more comprehensively for heart conditions, the Defence Ministry is sticking to its protocols, for now.

Mr Teo said, "The medical screenings, the protocols are determined in consultation with the SAF’s medical expert panel and these experts include the best specialists in Singapore, including cardiologists.

"So we go by what they recommend to us as the best and most appropriate protocol for screenings and we review them regularly. The last review was done in September 2007 and as medical technology progresses, we will continue to update and review these protocols and procedures."

Asked to comment on concerns raised that having a 3rd Generation SAF that is technologically advanced may also mean a less rugged soldier when much of his training is done in simulators, Mr Teo said, "But the reality is that the training continues to be tough, realistic. I would say that the training systems, the medical coverage, the safety systems we have in place are better than before."

In the wake of this week’s training deaths, some parents have said they intend to send their sons for pre—enlistment medical screening by their own doctors.

Mr Teo had this message for worried parents: "If parents want to send their children for medical screening, I think that’s a precaution they can take — not just for national service. If they play sports, if they think their children are unwell, that’s a precaution that parents can decide to take.

"But regardless of whether parents do that, when they are enlisted into the SAF, we will do a thorough medical screening, using protocols recommended by the best specialists in Singapore."

The bottomline is that the SAF needs to carry on training as realistically and as safely as possible.

An independent coroner’s inquiry will be held in Open Court to look into the cause of the two deaths.

Separately, MINDEF has also convened two inquiry panels to look into the incidents and the lessons to be learnt from them. — CNA/ms


If you want my honest opinion, if you really want my honest opinion, all I can offer is an expletive.

The NUS Catholic Students' Society's Freshmen Orientation Camp 2008 - Conquer! was extremely edifying and a beautiful testimony of God's overwhelming grace, love and mercy. It's amazing how God cares and loves each and every one of us so much and it's amazing how blessed we are. There were things that went wrong and many of us experienced spiritual attacks, but God's precious blood washed upon all of us and brought healing in so many ways - emotionally, spiritually, physically... While we used to get rainbows every year on the last day, God, in a funny way, gave us rainbows everyday, for our caterer was Rainbow Kong. I believe that in every FOC and in every event, God always gives a message appropriate to that time and this year's message was definitely, Zechariah 4:6 "Not by might, nor by power, but by the Spirit of the Lord." Even in our weaknesses, even through our shortcomings and failures, when we place our trust in Him, He comforts us, He annoints us and He helps us. He loves us no matter what we do or what happens and indeed I am truly blessed. I stand in awe of His magnificence and I pray that my life will be a love song for Him and to the people around me and whom I encounter.

For all the planning, the long meetings, the difficult discernments, the adrenaline, the worries, the lack of sleep, the frantic preparations, the freshies, the participants, the facils, the main commers: Justin, Michelle, Cheryl, Wing (and Daryl), Mark, Charlene, Germaine, Jelene, Nick, Kelvin, Alex, Samantha and Shimon, thank you and kudos to a job well done! It is by His mercy that we have finally completed what we set out to do. For the lovely subcommers who have gone beyond their comfort zones in service! As I'm one half of the Games co-heads, special *hugs* to Games: Gerg, Isabella, Agnes, Desmond, Nick K, Frances, Mel Gomes, Jeremy, Vivien, Rachel, Clarissa, with help from Clare and Carme. Thank you for being part of this wonderful journey.

To the O Group, Daniel, that I belonged to, thanks for the honest and deep sharings, for the enthusiasm and for the joy you have brought to my life!

^{Zechariah 10: 3-6}

^10:3 For Yahweh of Hosts has visited his flock, the house of Judah,
And will make them as his horse in the battle that he is proud of.

^10:4 From him will come forth the corner-stone,
From him the nail,
From him the battle bow,
From him every ruler together.

^10:5 They shall be as mighty men,
Treading down muddy streets in the battle;
And they shall fight, because Yahweh is with them;
And the riders on horses will be confounded.

^10:6 "I will strengthen the house of Judah,
And I will save the house of Joseph,
And I will bring them back;
For I have mercy on them;
And they will be as though I had not cast them off:
For I am Yahweh their God, and I will hear them.

It's funny how I always return from reservist and feel like my lifespan has shortened by three to five years. Year after year, my lungs get suffocated by the cigarette smoke of inconsiderate bunkmates who smoke in the bunks. It's amazing how selfish people can get and one thing I really can't stand are people who EXPECT you to be their slaves, who EXPECT you to do favours for them, when it is really not an obligation to do so and you are helping them out of goodwill. The worse part is, they don't even ask nicely.

I am concerned about the amount of Pynosect that the army is using to ward the mozzies and other creepy crawlies off. While soaking one's uniform is not a 100% guarantee against malaria and Dengue, I am sure that being a man-made chemical, it must have repercussions on the environment and worst on the human beings wearing the uniforms which have undergone soaking in the chemical. It is after all toxic to mosquitoes, bees and all aquatic creatures. I don't believe that human beings wearing it so close to the skin will not be affected at all.

I am peeved that the boss of the mascoting company has NOT transferred my pay for the last week of work I did for him. I need the money to get new spectacles because my glasses were scratched so badly and broken during range I can't see a thing and I don't have time to wait because FOC starts tomorrow, but no... that fella just refuses to send over the money and has been delaying payment. What's up man? It's at least $160 worth of cash that could be spent to get me new glasses. I have a feeling I probably won't be working for that company for a very long time again.