The Cathay Picturehouse is becoming my favourite movie cinema by virtue of the many edgy, fantastic arthouse films it brings in. What I am saddened by is the idea that people pooh-pooh arthouse films all the time, simply because they don't understand what is going on, or they would prefer frivolous offerings like Epic Movie. I would concur that there are perhaps some arthouse films which are difficult to appreciate and comprehend, but there are many other arthouse films which give voice to the contemporary and give insight into particular issues. Eric Khoo's My Magic for example, and the film I caught yesterday, Talk To Me. Talk To Me is set in the America of the 1960s, 70s and 80s where racism and class differences played defining roles in governing social behaviour (although they still do abeit disguised in other forms). Central to this film is Petey Greene, a rough-talking, ex-convict who becomes a radio disc jockey on WOL radio and it is he who played a definitive part in uniting the Black people during the time of the death of Martin Luther King.

What I liked about the film was how it exposed the different facades we put on, how it explored notions of acceptance and belonging and how we often mould ourselves into people we don't really want to be, just to fit in, or to make others happy. If it weren't M18, due to the use of course language, I would think it's something that everyone should watch, because it's good and that's it.

Every fibre and nerve within me is restless. It's like an energiser bunny trying to rip off its bunny suit and jump off into the horizons. I am itching to be involved with stage work or a film. Although I know that they will not provide very viable long-term career options for me, I am itching to do something with them anyhow.

Yesterday I went for my Masters pre-admission medical checkup and the doctor suddenly went into this tirade of the need to lose weight. Very strange considering how I never did ask him anything about it. He just went, "Oh you want to lose weight right? What are you doing now about your fitness?" and he rattled on about commitment, cutting down portions, walking because it's a good thing.... You know you're plus size when the doctor begins to talk about weight loss, even though it is not part of the medical checkup nor something requested.

I realised I should have signed up for the international masters thingy, because doing a Literary Studies masters in NUS is intensely limiting. I realised too, that due to a conflict of interests between doing a necessary S & D course and doing masters, that I will only be able to do Literature modules in my first semester (and hopefully it's only for my first semester). Thank goodness, I've already done Asian International Cinema. It's a pity that I can't do Classical Theories of Asian Theatre which falls on a Wednesday. I will have to keep reminding myself that I chose to be a poor academic in making (I don't understand how everyone thinks students doing their Masters are rich, especially when NUS only gives a stipend of $1500, and I've my Tuition Fee loan to pay off and there's a need to give my mum at least $400 a month, leaving me with a mere $200 to subsist on) because this is a long term investment and I am working towards my dreams of teaching Theatre Studies and, AND with a masters degree, I'll be able to earn so much more.

I'm off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz...

The Wizard of Oz by iTheatre was a breath of fresh air in the stale circles of theatre. A stage adaptation of the 1939 Victor Fleming movie of the same name, it was remarkably faithful to the movie and I was simply amazed by what a high production values it had - from the Paul Pistore puppets (this is the very same puppeteer who has worked on Hollywood blockblasters like Batman Returns and Man in Black!!), to the fantastic costumes; From the great singing to the engaging acting (I am officially a fan of Rayann Condy, who played Elmira Gultch and the Wicked Witch of the West and of Robert Jenkin, who played Hickory and the Tin Woodman)... it was like I had taken a tumble in a tornado and had landed in the enchanting land of Oz.

It was definitely an extremely entertaining and endearing musical that anyone who is a child or who grew up watching The Wizard of Oz or the adult who wants to re-discover his or her inner child again should watch. It was so whimsical, so spectacular and so adorable that I couldn't help but fall in love with it and you would probably fall in love with it too!

The Wizard of Oz will be running from now until the 15th of November 2008 at the Drama Centre, National Library. Do catch it if you can. This overgrown and big (possibly gargantuan) child loved it to bits.

This is a completely random post, but I was just thinking about how there is such a thin fine line between zealousness for God and overscrupulosity. How does one draw the balance between doing every thing correctly, perfectly and according to the rulebook and taking a step back to say that hey God doesn't mind a bum note and we shouldn't be too overtly concerned with the rubrics? The Martha/Mary story comes to mind. Martha was in a complete state of fretfulness. She was rushing about - tidying, cooking, trying to make her home as hospitable as possible. Mary on the other hand just sat by the Lord and gave Him her fullest attention. The moral of the Martha/Mary story is that we often let ourselves get entangled in the web of the nitty-gritties and we often forget who it is or for what purpose we do things. I admit that I am very much like a Martha in this aspect and should work for stillness. To be like a Mary and just sit by the Lord - giving Him my fullest attention. Although that is extremely hard work and I willingly let myself be swept away by the voices of the world which may seem more attractive than the voice of the Lord sometimes.

There are quite a number of things that call for my attention - my recent health, worries about paying off the academic loans when payments are called for next year, worries that my MA modules may clash with the speech and drama course, worries about my mum and my sister, taking on the role of an assistant conductor in Ephrem... there are simply too many things which crowd my mind. Sometimes, jealousy and envy play mind games with me as well and I end the day feeling exhausted. I think the hyper-kinetic energy I exude when I am with people is simply a facade. I am very much a human being - torn, vulnerable and alone.

I thought it was okay, but apparently there were still some stones which were not completely flushed out. Yesterday I freaked out, because there was blood I could see in the urine. I will definitely have to cut the taboo foods completely - sugar, salt, fried stuff, caffeine... I will have to start exercising again too, because that apparently does wonders for stones in the bladder or kidney.

I feel tired. It seems like I'm a fifty year old man surviving in the body of a twenty-five year old. It is crazy how my body seems to be breaking down within me and this truly scares me, because I have so many things ahead of me - the masters course, the academic loans to pay off, the job that was offered me at JG... so many things. The body is not co-operating dammit!

On a happier note, it's two more days to the END of relief teaching at that school from hell. Whoo hoo!

I have an issue with getting things that people don't actually want. You know how some people like to recycle the things they receive, or give you the gifts they've tried and don't exactly like? Well my stand is, at least re-package the bloody thing so that it at least looks new or unopened. Don't you think it's very rude to receive something that is already opened?!? It turns me off completely, when I receive something with an obviously tempered seal. Gifts, like all gifts have to come from the heart. If you wouldn't want to receive it yourself, why give it to another person?

I just came back from the most delightful dessert degustation by Chef Gerard Lewis at Rogues. Apple crumble with a pandan cuppucino, cheesecake with raspberry air, orange jelly with lychee foam and sabayon, Hennessy chocolate cake with salted peanuts and poprocks and a hot molten chocolate Manjari cake for a spectacular finish. I like how Chef Gerard puts fun into his desserts with the use of molecular gastronomy and I love how the different textures and tastes complement each other so well and it's such great value for money. Five plated dessert courses for $25 nett! Where else can you get fantastic quality pared with a fabulous ambience?

It is such a pity that this will be the very last time Chef Gerard will be doing this. At least at Rogues anyway.

I am not looking forward to work tomorrow. *sigh* AND I want to return to gymming. I miss body combat... lots...

As a digression, according to some Flower quiz, I'm apparently a carnation. A carnation! Although the qualities the quiz describes are quite accurate though... hmmm...

You are down to earth and grounded.
You tend to be more traditional than trendy.
Your confidence gets you through anything.
People trust you and are very loyal to you

My eyebrows have been twitching irritatingly non-stop this past week. I would think it's a depressed nerve, and some people would say that someone is thinking very hard of me, but in some sense, I feel like something big, or life changing, or traumatic is going to happen. I just pray that whatever happens, God will be present to see us through it.

I got the official letter of acceptance into the masters programme today and while I am excitied about starting term, it turns out the supervisor allocated is a professor whom I completely do not know nor worked with, so that is a little scary, but I suppose everything happens in its own time and everything has its own reason for being.

It has been a tiring few days. My health of late has become increasingly wonky. The bladder is still not functioning as well as it should, the increased water intake has caused me to swell up with slight water retention, and the eczema on the legs is not exactly going away... I'll be visiting a polyclinic after work tomorrow, to see if I can get some referral to the National Skin Centre. Somehow, I have a feeling it might be linked to blood-sugar levels. I probably need to do an overall health check, which in some ways I'm glad for MA admission, because prior to admission, I would need to undergo a full body health check up.

Sunday also saw me conducting for the first time. While it is scary and I can't keep timing for nuts, nor do I have the necessary musical knowledge to read notes or to play a musical instrument, I have somehow become the assistant conductor to EMM. Nonetheless, the song I conducted was Thank You Lord for the Trials and I cannot help but think how apt the song is. I'm taking it as a sign that this is probably what God wants me to do for now, as this song was also E's first song playing the bass and S's first song on the drums. I am also struck by the lines, "thank you Lord for the trials that come my way, that I may grow each day, as I let You lead..." If this is what God wants me to do, He will provide me the necessary skills and the strength to carry out His will. I can only grow, if I let Him lead.

Can deep love and intense grief ever be articulated? Perhaps, Eric Khoo's latest, My Magic gives these two wordless and often silent emotions voice. Needless to say, I loved it to bits.